Feeling down and out? How to GET IT TOGETHER during quarantine

#stayinghome, mental health, mindfulness

Quarantine. A word I wasn’t aware of until it became my reality. Getting through the days have been a rollercoaster of highs and lows for us all. It would have been nice to get a heads up that our 2020 vision was going to be postponed until further notice, but unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

The first three weeks was the most unproductive I have felt in a very long time. My low appetite somehow was replaced with huge cravings of everything in my kitchen and although spending majority of the day playing with Mylah is considered a good thing, I completely forgot about myself (just when self-care was becoming more consistent). It has all been a bit manic, but I am tired of the complaining and so Is sharing with you what I am doing to GET IT TOGETHER during this quarantine season.

1. Building and Maintaining a routine

The first step to getting anything together is to start with the basics. Washing my face and brushing my teeth twice a day, eating breakfast, lunch and dinner and not using a fresh set of pyjamas as an everyday outfit.

You may not see the point if your staying in all day. Although no matter how much ‘other stuff’ you get done, your never fully comfortable or ready until you have completed the basics, so if your stuck on getting your life on during lock down, the basics would be a good place to start.

2.Spend more conscious time with yourself

If your not on a dating app then your on Instagram, if your not on Instagram then your on houseparty and if your not on house party then your watching netflix or porn. Who knows lol.

Even if none of thoes are of your interest, the point that I am trying to make is that we are constantly finding anything to distract us from whats really happening within and around us. No I am not telling you to go and switch on the news but what I am telling you to do is to switch on the channel of just you.

Learn to embrace your present moment rather than what is going on beyond our control in the world. This way we will be able to feel sense of reconnection within, allowing moments of gratitude and peace to uplift your mood.

3.Complete course work or anything you need to do!

After receiving low marks on my assignment because my baby brain (yes that is still my excuse at 18months postpartum!!) forgot to double-check and only handed in one part. I felt extremely discouraged to carry on but with lockdown in place and only so much I can do, I have decided to complete my course.

What have you been putting off? What can you do that will benefit you?

Whatever that is, you may as well get it done now and if you have no idea then get creative, learn a new skill, read a new book or a complete an online course

4.Eating more consciously

When I first stocked up, I made sure that I grabbed every snack and sweet, that I liked and had finished it all by week two. My skin broke out, my pot belly was extreme, and my mood swings was changing so fast that I could barely keep up with myself. I felt like a slug.

Moving forward I now start my day with my ‘5 a day’ (fruit) blended into a smoothie for breakfast and is more conscious of what I am eating. Most importantly, making sure that I don’t overload myself on the portion size. I also only buy water as it curves my temptation and enforces my goal to be more hydrated the H2o way!

5. Exercise

I have accepted the fact that I enjoy being active. Yes, it leaves the body aching but it also makes me feel proud, happy, energetic and present. Feelings we can all do with during this season. So if you haven’t already, give it a go. I’ve started doing a 10 minute morning yoga challenge for 30 days, which allows me to start the day feeling positive and bright.

When lemons are thrown at us we just make lemonade! Uplifting the world starts with uplifting yourself. So lets get back on track together the best way we can and help spread more love and compassion to ourselves and others instead of fear and worry.

Sending you positive vibes.

Ren x

Cons of being a Young Parent

friendship, housing, mental health, motherhood, youngmum
Me and My Mylah

Having a baby is far from your childhood memories of when you used to play mums and dads. Its takes understanding, growth, patience, responsibility and the list can go on and on. No matter how old you are the principles are still the same, that there is no rule book to parenthood.

Although being a young Mum we tend to have a slight different experience to the average mother ( whatever that means). So below are some cons I’ve discovered since becoming a young parent.

1. You WILL miss out

Being a Young mum your more than likely to still have that buzz to want to go out with your friends and attend social events however that’s not a reality you’ll be living until your child is at least 18. Harsh to hear but it’s the truth. Not every time you’ll have a baby sitter available so expect it, don’t get upset about it as there will be many more events in the future that you will be able to attend.

2. Your independence is replaced with responsibility

Last year I could just get up and go. Fast forward to today, I now have a checklist of everything I need to pack before I step out the door. I am now more mindful of every choice and decision I make as every consequence that affects me will affect my daughter also.

Being young, you already haven’t had independence for as long as you initially thought (speaking in terms of an unplanned pregnancy), and now with a baby, the consequence can be overwhelming and hard to balance for some. Especially if you’re not mentally prepared, this can be a challenge at first.

3. It can get lonely

You may be the only one out of all your friends who has a child. With that, finding people who can relate to your situation can be a difficult task and in the meantime can get very lonely.

We all get lonely and it’s important for us to try to stay connected and find ways that will help and conquer our feelings of loneliness at times. For example, writing this blog helps me get out of my head when I sometimes feel lonely.

4. You may feel isolated from Motherhood

Again relating to loneliness, when I take my daughter to her baby groups I am always the youngest one there. I feel this stands out amongst the other Mothers. They may smile and a few may have a brief conversation with me but for the most part and In my head, I always felt like they are just trying to figure out exactly how old I am.

When I first started going I used to feel isolated because of this. It wasn’t somewhere I felt welcomed and took time for me to feel comfortable and gain confidence again.

5. The physical changes

Loving my body has been a rollercoaster. I thought I would snap back to normal like some of my other friends who have had children, although God had other plans.

My tummy, covered in stretch Mark and loose skin is my new reality. Surprisingly it hasn’t affected me as bad as I thought it would. Although now I’m a lot more conscious of what I wear whereas before I could wear anything.

6. Emotional changes

Young parents are more likely to experience postpartum depression which is a lot to handle whilst taking care of a baby, as it is easy to ignore the signs. Common symptoms can be feeling in a constant state of sadness, loss of appetite, feeling hopeless and less interested in the world around you, having trouble concentrating/making decisions and difficulty bonding with your baby.

As I am no expert I’d advise you to go on the NHS website for more information and to contact a professional if you feel you can relate to the symptoms above.

7. Education career and sacrifice

It’s hard. Especially if you don’t have the support from family regarding childcare. This can easily make you feel stuck as you want to do more to be able to provide yourself and child but get restricted by high childcare cost, housing situation and any other factors that goes against you making progress. You may have to drop out of work or education and return when your child is older in age. As young parents making those sacrifices are tough.

You are strong as no matter what goes against you as young mum, you continue to rise above. I would like to end this blog on that note as being reminded of the cons can be a bit self-sabotaging. This may not be your reality but if it is just know that you are not alone and that everything will fall into place in due time.

Send you positive vibes always.

Rens x